memorial day

carnaval! it was a cloudy grey day, good for the performers. we headed down to our usual watching point, outside of boa on 24th. maya wore her faux fur cape and glass slipper flats for the occasion. miles was on the prowl for candy.

i walked the unicef parade as a preschooler, then was a band geek for years. in college i organized the first and last pagan ritual. a somewhat tamed and child-friendly version of mardi gras, carnaval makes me feel good. brazilian drumming, sexy dancers, little kids dancing with their schools, more sexy dancers, a scary african procession with skulls and machetes and crazy long-haired costumes, more drums. salsa bands on floats, followed by tiny bolivian women dancers with flutes and surprisingly loud voices. goofy middle school kids dancing to tonto jump on it. you gotta love this stuff.

later miles and rich went to play basketball and came upon a man lying in the street with a bloody mouth. rich said he couldn't talk and looked scared--maybe a seizure. he made a big impression on miles, who asked many questions about him at his favorite discussion time, after he was supposed to be going to sleep.

it is memorial day and i am thinking about my poppop. he was a combat photographer who in his grandpa days became a combat photographer for peace, veteran for peace, fought against landmines and helped protect voters in elections in central america. he grew up in a city like my kids are doing, in a poor neighborhood with a garden out back. he told some good stories about pea shooters and horse poo pranks. he built houses, made tiles, was a studio photographer. he made delicious oatmeal, built a house for my grandmother and himself next to a gorgeous green river in massachusetts, raised goats for a while, then ended up living his last years with a wonderful retired schoolteacher in staten island, ny. he led a full long life and was very much against war.

xo

ilhan first told me about this place

last night we bickered with each other about various issues (mostly miles and rich--miles has been pretty grouchy lately) and almost didn't go, but finally packed our stuff in the car and drove down to the dreamy butano state park campground. the ground was moist, the redwoods tall, huge logs everywhere for kids and banana slugs to climb on. the smell of fire and evergreen leaves. dogs barked and kids yelled, an occasional clank of pan or loud crack of fire, and our breath made clouds. the kids went bezerk for marshmallows, but it seems like lately the kids just ARE bezerk. how did we end up with these crazy little folks? hmmm...

we survived a night of heavy snoring and awoke to the sound of stellar jays and little waking noises. after breakfast we hiked down the trail where ten years ago cassie and i trailed kaveh to his friend's wedding and drank some danish liquer (that word must be spelled wrong) while elf like wedding guests cavorted around. today we were highly entertained by a park ranger named mountain who led a junior park ranger presentation about birds. we sang a song about quail, miles got to wear a sign around his neck that said BEAK: you got a beak, you got a eat, and finally there was an insane game with camoflauged nests full of checkers and 30 kids running around flapping their wings and trying to protect their checkers from the predatory adults. as we drove out we saw bunnies and quail and talked about native americans and how modern society was quickly changing the entire planet.

we balanced out all this nature nicely with a stop at burger king and a "name that cartoon theme song" game in the car. upon arriving home rich and i collapsed and miles and maya watched 2 hours of rocky and bullwinkle.

carnaval tomorrow. i'm in a i miss my friends mode. i miss you, friends.

i want to go back to bed and daydream

procrastinating before work

summer is almost here

stopped to get money from the little liquor/party store on 24th street. they have made an effort to reach new customers and now have "organic food". i expected some healthy cereal, soymilk and annie's mac and cheese. instead two cute stoner/skateboard dudes sit behind a deli counter with sandwiches and salads they have made themselves. they have home jarred fruit and vegetables in big mason jars. the salads are 2 bucks and things like corn, mint and baby bok choy. acme bread in huge bags. rasta music playing. good for them.

across the street i see a man peeing sneakily in someone's doorway.

our little garden out back is growing but slowly--the morning sun takes a little while to hit the ground. i just want to go lie in bed and daydream.


kids are waiting at school, better go.

"let us cultivate our garden"

just returned from seeing:
my friend sheila starring as candide in the theatre of yugen's version of candide, or optimism.
in case you didn't noh, which i didn't, this is a highly stylized form of theater from japan. after getting over my astonishment at seeing sheila on stage as a man in crazy japanese costume courting a baroness in west failure i settled in and enjoyed it thoroughly for 2 hours.

and on the optimism tip, we took the kids this weekend to the life is good festival
in gg park where for almost six hours a bunch of people played music, did some top-notch juggling and ventriloquism, kids cavorted on parachutes and threw balls through openings, the face painting and ice tea were free, bubbles were blown, and all donations went to charities. as we sat and made arts and crafts out of old clothing catalogs i got the story that life is good is a clothing company that decided to give back after 9/11.

ahh, what a nice place our earth is, the best of all possible worlds.

and maya's quote, unrelated:
"here are some books i got for you. i got them all in china."

me: "okay, can you read me one?"

"no, they are all in spanish."

nighty night

bee babysitter

we went to point arena last weekend. i was singing the hazy hit where should we live so much that maya started crying "stop it, stop it." so beautiful up there i just want to stare around me for hours but the kids made certain i didn't do that. every rock and plant and tree and cloud seems perfectly formed and positioned. i ended up staying up until almost 3 with brian and his friend listening to recordings he has made in the dome. it's amazing the creative projects our (mostly childless) friends have produced!!

back in sf things are way too busy. i was kind of half-hearted about the starr king open space board and didn't invite anyone to vote for me. so, phew, i am not on the new board of directors, but feel my slight involvement and vote helped create the new school friendly board. soon there will be kids out there with clipboards sketching bugs and writing in their journals. if there is still any money left for schools to function...

maya and i sat on the path in that open space today for a while. she came up with a game about us being birds that were babysat by bees. it was nice to not be a mean stepsister for once. some nice folks with dogs wandered by. we picked some teeny flowers. after coming back down the hill i was cornered by our star trek loving cross-dressing older neighbor walking his inherited dog peanut. i heard him rant about how he couldn't stand the city much longer and how when his wife retires in 18 months they are moving to a country house 20 miles from any town up in northern california. he is very pissed off because more parking will be removed for bike lanes. he also informed me that peanut has diarrhea.

maya started to pick someone's geranium's but before i could stop her the man stepped off his front stairs and said she was welcome to pick a big one. she said that was nice of you to let me pick this wery big flower.

and rich and miles are at a giant's game, tickets purchased through a fundraiser for miles' school. a weekend ahead of kid events, cleaning the bathroom, maybe a little cousin time.

life is whooshing by lately. i have been up a lot at night, thinking about present and future.

love you

me a board member?

not so long ago i was making jokes about bored members. haha. thought of that just now, actually. anyway, i was asked to submit my candidacy for the board of directors of starr king open space and i did! there is debate about how democratic the current board is, and there are plans for new blood to come in and make things more inclusive, democratic, etc. i have said yes because it might lead to kids at miles' school having access to this great natural space, but i am no politico. when i think of a board meeting i just feel bad about going out in the evening after work when i should be home squabbling with my family.

after almost a year my son is finally loving his lord of the flies type after school program, and now it is in danger of being shut down by parks and rec budget cuts. today i got there to see a the kindergarten tennis gang arriving at the court at the same time as a dad and his two sons with their racquets. at any other program the adults would have stepped in and told the kids to wait their turn, etc etc. the staff here is, um, very loose, and barely registered the possible conflict ("oh, are there kids around here somewhere doing something?"). then miles and his little buddies suggested to this very large stranger and his big boys that they share the court, and they did, for about an hour, while maya and i played bluto and olive oyl (feminist olive oyl) and squashed some unripe passionfruit.

maya is finally ready for bed, so night night to ya'

quick while the kiddos are working on a secret project

well, in a nutshell i am worried about swine flu. call me paranoid and a media believing loser but we are lying low this weekend. i think we will skip the my gym birthday party with 30 kids sneezing and coughing into plastic balls, and also the pump it up party with 30 kids wiping germs all over inflatable fun.

oh no, conflict already. i like this little dude a lot--cute and evil with swords on his forehead.

gotta go