we slogged through the last week or so of fevers, stomach flus, and missed turkey opportunities. nothing like a 104 fever to make you appreciate your child. now all seem to be well, although i sense bugs still lurking about our home.
i joined facebook and it has been whipping me around through a swamp of thoughts and emotions. first there is the revisiting of many out-of-sight out-of -mind relationships, ith all the accompanying memories and what-ifs. but more disturbing i think is that every time i see the "what are you doing right now?" i am doing nothing of interest, have just completed nothing of interest, and am about to do nothing of interest. i am playing with the kids. i have just returned with the kids. the kids and i are off to another birthday party. all these OTHER people seem to be doing fascinating things, like creating thanksgiving walls or rendering lard, or being excited about sports teams or, umm, just stuff i don't do.
rich's band played on wednesday night and i really really wanted to go but couldn't scrape upp a babysitter. it was probably a good thing because the stomach bug bit me hard at about 5 a.m. but at around 11, when the kids were asleep, and i knew many of my friends were having drinks at the eagle, making jokes and sitting elbow to elbow at the bar, listening to some cool opening band, i felt pretty crappy. not only do i not play music or create anything fun on my own anymore, i don't even go see others do this. it was a low enough moment, feeling true very immature jealousy, that made me realize i absolutely positively need a creative project.
so i can seem cool on facebook. so i can not be envious of rich. so my kids will be able to see that moms don't just stay home and take care of kids.
because i miss it.
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1 comment:
This blog is a pretty creative project, isn't it? When Miles and Maya grow up they will have a whole book about their childhood and their mom. Most kids have nothing like that, and their moms as you know forget.
BTW, is there a way to reorder the blog chronologically so you can print it that way?
Love, your forgetful mama
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