listy post

i just wrote a lot and deleted it. what it said was---i don't want to work the job i have and raise little kids at the same time.

anyway, tomorrow things start up again, just after we finally found a little groove around here. modern life, sigh. yesterday i got inspired and finally made use of the aquarium i found on the street 6 months ago. the kids and i went to the garden store and paxton gate, where we saw many amazing things. stuffed (taxidermied??) creatures--stoat, raccoon, antelope, lion, mice in crazy costumes, bat and butterfly bodies, strange rocks and crystals (from outer space says miles authoritatively), raccoon and fox claws, orchids, electroplated devil's claws, bugs in amber, porcupine quills, old nature books, walking sticks, special knives, beach glass, the list goes on and on. somehow this place is comforting, not creepy, although i can't put maya down for a second without her fingers latching onto a delicate bird skeleton, a fragile glass bell, a 50$ orchid (pink flowers). at home we layer the rocks, charcoal, dirt, and then make a little tiny world for our new and old plants. miles completes the scene with plastic wolf and baby rhino which i can tolerate. good luck little plants. we will try to take care of you. maya please put down the spray bottle.

today we all went to the beach and built a giant sandcastle kingdom, complete with sandy wet roses from the tideline, stick bridges, a rock that said love which i found and miles told rich he had found but then admitted the truth, a fort for the bad guy (tigger), and rocks for cars to bring bad guys and good guys back and forth from various locations. of course it ended in someone crying with a face full of sand but for a while it was just me lying on a blanket with my hat pulled down low, feeling the sun and sand, listening to far away voices and waves and watching tiny clouds drift over the marin headlands.

and i used one of my xmas gift certificates tonight, at christopher's books. lately i am overwhelmed by bookstores and don't know what to go for. i found myself in the psychology section for a long time, holding books with titles like "happiness" and knowing i wouldn't buy. i ended up with the road (cormac mcarthy), the lorax (dr you know who), a small journal to carry around and write fascinating insights in, a book of short stories by lorrie moore, and last child in the woods.

time to go read now. nighty night.
xo