movie night

well, we survived the giant's county fair today with david and emily. the 48 bus and the fancy new t line took us to borders, we ate burgers and then went to a sleazy kind of carnival by the ballpark, full of vendors desperate for us to throw balls and rings at bottles and squirt water for prizes. miles and emily teamed up for the rides up to 48" and maya and i spent some peaceful moments on the baby rides together. no baby animals or giant vegetables around. afterwards we went to chill out in the grass by the waterfront. a dude was down there having a great time playing electric guitar all by himself and miles and emily and maya played along on their inflatable guitars won at the fair (maya actually played a giant inflatable hammer with pretty pink pirate skulls). we made the journey back up and over potrero hill and met up with a little girl from miles' school.

now it is movie night and the kids and rich are watching star wars for fifth consecutive friday.

i guess it is okay to say this--i have been very anxious lately. i am finally starting to do something about it. everyone tells me it is normal to be worried about things, but all this worry is really getting to be too much, and my world is shrinking. i won't go into the details. but, for those who know me, it does help to share.

does living in the city contribute to the anxiety? if there was no scary traffic outside would i worry about people breaking into the house and kidnapping the kids in a sleepy suburb instead? or about mountain lions carrying them away in the countryside?

this weekend is chock full of things to do. mandarin classes, friends' bbqs, visits with new friends. flipper playing, sunday streets in the mission with all kinds of cool stuff, freedom from training wheels workshop for miles. it's not boring to be here. maybe all this activity keeps some of the worry at bay. maybe it is all a wash. who knows.

maya wants me to watch star wars with her because she is worried about luke. so there you go. i'm going to go and hold her on my lap and watch the good guys prevail.