everybody everywhere

waahh. my baby, pictured here in a stunning ensemble, started preschool today. she barely said goodbye and walked off toward the group of kids, then shot back across the room and squeezed my legs ferociously, then joined the group.

i missed her during my three hours of food shopping and cleaning the kitchen. and i felt disconnected from the well-heeled group of moms waiting outside to get their kids, all tall ladies with smooth hair and nice shoes and cars. second guessing my decision about this preschool, of course.

miles started his after school program today, which we are trying out 5 days a week. i was itching to go get him at our usual pick up time but had to wait.

walking down the rock hill from school i told him how maya had been brave but was a little teary and mad this afternoon. he told me when he started preschool he cried for six weeks but then he had a good time, which is pretty accurate.

why did you cry so much, anyway? i asked. this was when he was three. because i wanted you, he answered.

this is the answer i wanted to hear, i suppose, but it hurts a little too. we want to be together but have to go into the world.

of course at home the kids were fighting over markers and bickering as they counted each other's stirs taking turns making sweet potato pancakes (wink wink, deceptively delicious), and then miles drove me nuts at bedtime making fart noises under his armpit while i tried to sing baby beluga to maya. i yelled at him and he went into the closet for about ten minutes but finally emerged to say sorry. he had to make just one more fart noise, though. then we called each other exquisite and he went to sleep.

big meeting tomorrow, the thing i never mention here, work.

and i just reread one of my favorite autobiographies, nobody nowhere by donna williams. you can borrow it from me if you would like.

night night