old friends, bb guns, ballet

so, maybe i sugarcoat things here sometimes, but let me just write this down--i am not happy at all that there are a bunch of kids running around in my just turned seven year old boy's after school program with bb guns. i am imagining bad things going on with kids and teens playing with guns. no, no, no, i don't like this at all. so the kids are not exactly in the program but the parks and rec program is in a public space, a beautiful public space, but not so beautiful with the bb guns and kids with them not following rules real well. i am FREAKING out about this. we will see how things unfold.

what else? last night a and c and two wonderful old friends from back in delaware came over for dinner. we got fancy cheese, rich made chicken and dumplings, i made an arugula and citrus salad. there were juicy vodka drinks and mini cupcakes, a basketball game on the back deck, some cinderella role playing, many old photos to dig through, and maya face, foot and hand painted 75% of the adult guests. i then escaped at 8 and hopped in the car with our visitors. we walked around bernal hill in the dark, a perfect clear and cool night. lots and lots of nostalgia, paired with the bb gun freakout making me long for the simpler, well maybe not simpler, but those old days in delaware and philly--cueball and needlenose the dogs, bands in the basement, awesome shows at the khyber, no kids to worry about--without those kids we all had time to love each other a little more. it is hard to bond with new friends in the same way as old. most of the new friends we have know us in the context of parent. which is a good context, but sometimes you want to be with people who knew you when you were just, well, you.

today suling and the girl cousins and i headed south to the mountain view performing arts center for the ballet "sleeping beauty's wedding". umm.....yawn.....snore. oh, excuse me. i actually was pretty entertained during the show by maya's whispered comments "amazing!!", "that was so amazing!!" and the slightly pathetic "mommy, she is more beautiful than me." after the show the girls ran around in a clean sunny public plaza dancing and trying to boss us around. two men chit chatted with us and one mentioned that his favorite part of the show was when a ballerina was lifted up in the air and a child said "WHOA!", making the whole audience laugh. i was so proud, that was my girl maya being loud in the quiet theater.

anyway, flee the city thoughts creeping in, or at least flee the after school program which i have always thought was great except for that little safety factor. i want to trust the outside world to be good to my kid but it is very very hard. wish us luck figuring this one out.