not sinking

this photo was taken on our last trip back east (by train) back in, umm, 3 years ago. here is miles in the middle of a long session of climbing out of the pool and jumping in and repeat, wearing his trusty waterwings. and now, as of yesterday, he can kind of kind of swim. from the wall to me standing about 6 feet away, but it is exciting. he has actually learned how to not sink! thank you to lindsey at the janet pomeroy center, and to my parents who always seem to live near a crystal blue pool.

we were in sonoma again this weekend, playing in the pool and river at the morton warm springs, the kids running in and out of the unchildproofed condo, maya at one point cackling with glee as she tried to pull wine glass after wine glass off the wine rack and miles became more and more excited about the dangerous happening and i pretty much lost my temper. there was an arts festival there, lots of people playing music,listening to music, the nice little parks, white tents of art all over the main square. i found myself asking why they didn't have more events like this in san francisco and rich said they did, they are just different because they are...in the city. so if i looked hard i could probably find a neighborhood fair or festival every weekend, right? and i think we did this more before we had kids. folsom street fair, with big men cracking whips and people on leashes and butts everywhere, the mime troupe, drinking wine on blankets in front of bluegrass festivals, night time art shows my friends were in, bonfires on the beach,all day rock shows, my band playing a show in the castro on halloween....whoa, i am going off into the past. these are all still here, i think, but they are too hard with the kids, too many lines to wait in and squirmy little hands trying to wring free and get lost in a sea of people, parking troubles, attention span factor, nap factor, bedtime factor. do i miss these city things? not really right now. i miss the people who have gone away more than any city goings-ons. i miss being free a little. could i be content right now with a little town, with fairly regular mellow little festivals full of somewhat predictable yet nice art and music and good food? would i want the whips and rock shows and mimes once the kids were old enough to come with us or stay home alone? will i be partying in my late 40s? i hope so. i'm still confused.

we returned from sonoma with a stroke of luck--miles and maya both passed out as soon as we got in the car. we decided to stop by our friend's 40th birthday party at the bay view boat club.
we thought it would be impossible with the kids but it was good. this place full of salty boat types, my dad would love it, mixed in with our friend's friends, and a bunch of good old and new faces. people from the warehouse where we used to go for big live music parties full of rideable art, giant woodland creatures, hoops and ping pong, now grown up and scattered to far-flung regions of the east bay, our point arena friends, new parents of miles' friends friends. a friendly open bar and friendly kind men cooking salty ribs and friendly oysters and greens and salmon. miles and maya actually play together for a few minutes and miles does a brief interpretive dance which amuses some regulars. a woman tells me 3 or 4 times that her son grew up here and he is great. she means the boat club but my wierd little brain thinks she means the city. we leave in search of cake as the party gets good and louder, and end up in a new safeway powered 100% by wind energy. there are young rockers buying 5 pound blocks of cheese
and tortillas and eggs and a huge jar of peanut butter and bickering politely and nicely about who will pay for it. there seems to be as little singles scene going on in the butter aisle, really. i ask about a spiderman cake figurine and a cool older guy gets it into my hands as i am checking out and somehow it ends up being free. we drive home and talk about how the city looks at in the dark. rich tells miles that some people live here because they like how the city lights look at night and i wonder if this is true. we eat our cake and sing to our still-partying friend and go to bed very very very tired. the ambulances and hissing brakes and car alarms don't keep us up at all tonight.