this freakin list is due and rich is away and i'm not ready

"it's like a morning night, mommy."
this is how my son poetically describes last night in which there were many wakings. rich left for his trip and i got miles to sleep. i looked at the many permutations of school choices and, knowing our list is due, felt quite overwhelmed. i tried to remedy this by drinking some bailey's left over from christmas and watching wife swap. i looked at our schools and felt incredibly foggy. should we be putting more immersion? was there a chance in hell we would get buena vista, which i am getting set on? should i really put this progressive poorish school near the top of our list when everyone else is putting buzzy and affluent miralomas and alvarados and clarendons? and what about the 7:50 start? will it be ok? awful? aahhhhhhhhhhhhhh. i start crying and just then my friend elizabeth calls, in a similar boat. super nanny comes on tv. then maya wakes up. i get her back to sleep, obsess sadly some more, then go to bed with maya. at 2 the door opens and there is miles. he is very good and quiet and just climbs in the bed with us ut maya surprises me and ends up going on a 3 hour whining and crying spree, with a little nursing allowed her in desperation and i want to keep miles from losing it and he insists politely on staying with us, pulling the cover over his head. i alternate being kind hippie mama and annoyed and mean-voiced stress mama with maya. fianlly miles leaves and returns to his room at 5, where he is now sleeping. maya conked out for an hour or so and is now banging the salt shaker on the table and giggling, somehow wide awake and full of energy.