options

it was a busy day, my mom visited. the weather perfect, warm, sunny, a little wind. we took the kids to a hilarious magic show at the randall museum, then hiked up to the top of the peak there. we drove across the city and met mike and family at the legion of honor, where we checked out some art, heard a guitarist playing princess dance music outside, climbed the king statue and soaked in the the ocean and trees.

quotes of day:
maya (very loudly, a few times, looking at big bronze sculptures in the museum): i want to touch his penis!
miles (eating a tasty dessert, after hearing my mom rave about the museum lunch): it's not about the art, it's all about the food.

when we were at the magic show we bumped into an old acquaintance i met through a kid channel a few years ago. i asked how things were going with her child and was told things were finally going better, thanks to me. i had been concerned about this child after first meeting her, and had struggled with the decision to push this child's diagnosis and treatment forward by stepping in, or to let the parents and teachers figure things out on their own time. i decided to be brave and say what i thought, that this child was not just having behavior problems, or odd, moody, etc etc. but was on the autism spectrum. and he is. it is hard to combine your professional and personal lives, and risk alienating people. but it is a good thing to get this diagnosis when people think you are just behaving badly all the time.

sometimes i feel like my work is kind of worthless. but this made me feel good, that i have acquired some knowledge that can actually impact a family, can make things move in the right direction for them. not sure how to relate this topic to "should we flee the city". but maybe part of staying here is that i shouldn't stagnate and stop enjoying my job, but dig deep and see what it is i do love about it, and then take advantage of these big city resources and move in that direction. specialize. grad school? private practice? be a part-time consultant and spend the rest of the time doing greening projects, writing a book, who knows??

there are a lot of options in this big city full of beautiful children.