guilty post

ok, i am feeling guilty. we just arranged a very la-di-da party for maya's birthday, spending a good chunk of change. i did not think it through much, just impulsively called and arranged for a party with the buddy club at the randall museum. of course we need pizza, and cake, and some kind of art activity. it will be a bunch of people i don't know that well, new families from maya's preschool i invited in the hopes of her doing some bonding. now she is saying she doesn't even want those kids to come. and i just donated a little cash to the kids in haiti, but i am feeling so guilty. all this money on a kid's birthday party who would be perfectly happy watching a princess movie with her cousin and eating a cupcake for her birthday.

this is a wierd phenomenon of being human. seeing that what you are doing is ridiculous, but doing it anyway because, well, i guess because it is pretty much the status quo, and what you did last year. and the cycle goes on and on. spending money on a little girl's party that could probably save 10 kids lives in haiti, and there is no way to avoid thinking about it, because haiti is all over the news and i just sealed the deal with the museum (part of parks and rec at least), the pizza people, the cake lady.

this inability to really switch gears in the face of evidence that what you are doing is, well, maybe, WRONG seems to be a big flaw for me, and i know i am not alone.

sorry to be so heavy on this blog lately, maybe that is why no one is reading this except the spammers.

peace out
jd