ch ch ch ch changes

lots of changes. today was my last day with my students who are going to kindergarten. some of them, i can kind of see their future, at least a little. others it is less clear. all my smart wonderful little guys with autism. will they turn outwards or inwards? i want to follow them and find out, remain on their team, but i live in a big city. maybe i will see these guys here or there--on a bus, or at the zoo, or on a slide. i want to see them talking and laughing, included, having fun. they can do it, with a little help. i will miss some of my graduates a lot.

i didn't plan on going, it just sounded kind of depressing, but at the last minute i took the kids to a goodbye to the principal pta meeting. yes, it is depressing to find out that several of the important staff members at my kid's school are leaving. people i had in mind when we chose the school. you know me and unknowns. you know me and change and losing people. i don't like it one bit. but at this meeting my kids were playing hard outside while the grownups inside were making toasts and drinking mai-tais. kickball, pokemon, dodgeball, and maya even wormed her way into a gang of big girls playing some kind of cool fantasy game about living in a garden. as the girls sped across the big playground in a blur of pink and red and white, waving branches in their hands i talked to parents i have not known for quite two years, and i we made each other laugh hard, and it felt good.

i am starting to get used to this a little, people coming and going from our lives. that has been the heart of this blog, really, getting used to life in this city of transience. i am sure there will be more to come, every year, but maybe getting used to all these goodbyes can be a way of growing stronger. and even if they are out of sight and mind all these friends and students and teachers leave some kind of imprint on me. the layers are piling up.

i sang the song at school today; make new friends and keep the old, one is silver and the other gold. i don't know how many of the words my students understood. but they are looking, and smiling and trying to sing along, and i think they have all learned in their two years of preschool what a friend is.

xo
jd