still feeling sourish

oh, ho, it is wednesday and i am a single mom for a week. trying not to think about gunshots. once a month i see an old friend at our department meetings (which we use as 2 hours to catch up, whispering in the back row like the bad and disrespectful people we are) and she makes me think about another mythical suburb, albany, where she is friends with all her neighbors and half the neighbors are old friends. someone recently moved there called it mayberry. tra la la all the kids walk together to the great school down the street where hardly any kids are bombing out due to poverty or experimental immersion programs. birdies chirping rather than sirens and truck engines on the highway. little green gardens and sidewalks devoid of trash heaps and feces.

yes, i am in a down mode. what the heck are we doing here? mode. and doubting our choice of schools for our kid. sure it is a place with a good feeling and lots of people to like, and miles is happy to go there and he can speak chinese now but the more i think about it (in this negative frame of mind) are we NUTS? not only is he only getting one hour of crappy houghton mifflin english time per day, taught teachers who great but undeniably ESL, but there are many many kids in the school who are dealing with great poverty and difficulties. seems like we picked a very cool place with huge challenges.

kind of like the city. can we do anything to make things better? are we being bad parents? am i just very very grumpy?

on a lighter note--maya was moving cinderella's paper arm in the pop-up book up and down during story time in the bed tonight and told us cinderella was making a fart sound in her armpit. we all lost it and i laughed for about ten minutes as miles went armpit and kneepit noise bonkers and maya joined right in.

one more day of work and then my fabulous four day weekend begins, full of creative movement class(not for me), wushu class (not for me), soccer game(i get to watch), two birthday parties (not for me), library benefit. i can hardly stand it, i love it all but i can hardly stand it.

anyone want to come over for cocktails one night soon? i miss you, people.

xo
jamie