it really must mean something, how many of these posts end up related to birds. hmm, any ideas?
this has been a hard week as the reality has sunk in that i am being moved from a school site i have actually looked forward to most mornings for the last five years to a big unknown. not only will i miss specific kids, parents, and staff, i will miss the lovely location of the EES where i have been working, and i will REALLY miss the service delivery model, which was pretty much just playing with kids, singing and reading to kids, and helping them communicate along the way. waah, i will miss it. i will be going into a more clinical model, but i will wait to write more about that when i have more of an idea of what it will be like.
i do know this is an excuse to spend money i absolutely do not have on fun new preschool games and activities. hello, credit card.
i guess what is unsettling is the fact that i have worked in a field in one school district for eleven years and no one who is in charge of my fate (assigning me to kids and schools) has any idea what, if anything, i am good at. i admit, i have started to feel like i know what i am doing with a pretty specific population and service delivery model, but poof, i am being placed elsewhere, a little tiny part of a big machine which is basically just responsible for shifting people around so that there are enough therapists at enough schools to cover enough minutes of time and enough assessments with enough kids. so, i might have felt pleased with my work as i watched good things happen with my students, but the district does not look at my experience as meaningful, in the sense that it should be added to the district's supposed goal of improving outcomes for kids. no one is evaluating the work that is being done. sure, i have had evaluations but they don't go anywhere or mean anything. since things have been going well for the kids at my site it seems i would be continuing on or developing/helping improve upon the model within which i have been working (i had some fantasies about doing this kind of "bigger picture" work), but this does not even get considered. by anyone. except me.
teachers out there, you know what i am talking about, right? i will see how the new assignment goes, but deep down i am becoming more disassociated and less caring about the big picture. i still care about my students, and always will. but what can all my ideas about best practice come to when there is a bottom line so much more powerful that any person's experience or expertise? i think maybe hearing so much news about moving backward in so many ways in the bigger world due to money woes (republicans, i am talking about you) is making this seem harder. can't we be moving forward and enlightened anywhere?
sorry about that rant. i am sure it will be all right. at least i have a job, and maybe change will keep me on my toes. the world will be fine and occupy sf will rise up and we will all become happy socialists and there will be peace. the kids will start behaving themselves and brush their teeth vigorously twice a day without reminders. little caterpillars will stop eating all my backyard vegetables.
we visited a new friend of maya's from kindergarten today. they live high on a hill overlooking the green swoops of mclaren park, with a backyard that included "the back 40"--trees for climbing, two swings, a chicken coop with a little chimney, and honey bee boxes. ok, i am incredibly jealous, but we do have lots of wonderful culture and food around here, which you can check out while you scrape the garbage off your shoe. it was a sweet visit and miles and i even got in exactly 40 minutes of mommy vs. son soccer time on a big drizzly field.
here are the kids with the adorable chicks, and maya's lovely rendition of a girl turkey.
No comments:
Post a Comment