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Thursday, April 10, 2008

out of sight

this will be brief, as my sinus infection is taking over my brain and it is the end of a long long day. i didn't know where miles was for about 5 minues today. i would have to put a topographical map in this post to make it clear, but at glen park today miles took "the other way" and was completely out of sight for about 5 minutes. we were with another family and miles and the little girl were out of sight in some trees together for a few minutes. then the girl climbed up and said miles was going the other way. we thought this meant the other little path we could see 50 yards away. then when he didn't appear i called him a few times and he didn't answer. i stayed on the hill we were hiking with the kids and the other mom went down to see what miles was doing, but he wasn't there. in his green eagles clothes he had slipped away. she ran around the very large building back to the playground to find him. i waited with the kids trying not to panic. then the other mom returned through the trees and MILES WAS NOT WITH HER. i threw down the backpack and left maya with them and ran. the first person i saw i told my son was missing and she said she saw a little boy alone out on the sidewalk but thought he was with a different woman. the sidewalk by the street? hundreds of yards away? which way was he going? then she said "there he is" and i said where, where and then saw little miles running down the hill to us. he had made this huge crazy loop, like a quarter mile or so?? alone. he said he could hear us calling him. he didn't feel like he had done anything wrong. he wasn't being sneaky. he said he just took the other way. my heart was pounding so hard and we talked and maybe he will be more cautious for a while. but it really was his first time being conscious and independent. not a toddler wandering off without telling mommy. he just felt safe going on a path far from us, far from where i could see him and keep him safe. i still feel kind of shocked about it, kind of nauseous and amazed. we were lucky we found each other.
i guess as the kids get older these things will be happening more and more, but hopefully not anytime soon. would i have this kind of panic if miles disappeared for 5 minutes in the country or suburb? would i be worried about a mountain lion or getting lost in the woods or a creepy guy with a van like we heard about growing up? cause that's what i felt panic about--a stranger taking miles. i want him close to me. i told him again and again today, i have to see you to keep you safe but i know i can't keep him in sight forever.

2 comments:

Cassie said...

Yikes - I know that feeling. Nina has run off before and Niko's doing it a lot lately - thinks it's funny, ha ha. I always think of the Ian McEwen book A Child in Time and get very upset. It only takes a second.

I'm glad he's okay and that he got to see some theater this weekend.
xoxo, C

Anonymous said...

5 minutes is such a long time! We had that experience at xmastime on 24th street, and finally with many people helping us the girl from the Ark found Jonah, and he had been blocks away alone. HORRIBLE. I was sick for days, and I have never seen L. looking so green and miserable. And yes, in my head it was stranger abduction or being hit by a car, the two terrible things. I'm glad the little guy came back fine. love,
g