hot day in the city

it's really hot today. stinging your nostrils hot. rich took miles to school this morning, ahh, none of that ordeal mentioned in previous post. maya put a pair of her brother's shoes on and was climbing on the baby gate yelling "doe" so we went out for a walk. outside she insisted on "dow" (note how these 2 similar sounding syllables have very different meanings) so i let her walk holding my hand. i have to say i am proud of my daughter, who says "ewwo" to most people we pass, and flashes her huge smile. even a "ewwo" to the resident group of alcoholics and speed freaks who are well into their daily party at 9 a.m. at the walgreen's bus stop (i'll get a photo of this fun crew someday soon. miles likes to announce loudly that "smoking will make you very very sick" when we walk by them). "ewwo" to the daddy at the produce store. "waewuh" to the flowers at the wierd place that used to be a butcher shop and is now a halfway home for plants from closed businesses . a new speed freaky looking dude asks if we want to buy a movie, something with a plane and guns on the cover, and maya tells him "nooooooooooooo." good for you baby. we go to st francis for iced coffee and an egg breakfast to share, and order it to go. all the cool tattooed wait staff are here, and Sun Ra
is playing on the stereo. yay, i love sun ra. while the eggs are a cookin we walk across the street to to the park, which is locked. maya climbs on the gate crying "oboool" (this one is hard--"open") and more people go by and make me feel proud as they smile at her shaking the bars like a little convict. we go up the block and cross, and then maya befriends a cute couple of hipsters at the busstop by pounding on the glass as hard as she can. i used to be kind of like you i want to tell these twenty-somethings, but they are all eyes for the friendly child, not her old mama. we go back to eat our eggs at st francis since the park is padlocked and end up chitchatting with a couple i know from the neighborhood, their daughter has telescoped overnight to a big 7. maya chows down, blowing on her eggs and using a fork like the mature girl she is. everything feels good right now, but then i ask where the couple's daughter is going to 2nd grade, wanting to hear a good tip about a public school, and they smile and say "waldorf, it's a haul but worth it." suddenly i am not a proud mama but a worried one, and a jealous one, how can this scruffy twosome afford the waldorf school and why am i too poor, and why did i marry a rocker ( a great and hard-working rocker, but a rocker, not a doctor, lawyer or computer dude), what not as good as their kid future will mine have? it's ridiculous!

then as we walk home we pass a mom and 8 year old daughter holding hands and i comment "school's out, huh?" the mom gives me a smile that says she doesn't speak english. i recognize the girl from buena vista around the corner and she says "yes we are." it is very sweet, i'm pretty sure she means she and her mom are off for the summer together, and somehow i feel fine again.

there is a lot of stimuli around here. keeps things interesting, but also drags your heart up and down quickly. later i go to my first expensive pilates class. i am so crooked, and my left side has become shorter than my right, but a teacher named tamar carefully helps me move muscles and bones in little directions until i am in greater alignment. i can see that this new class will be all about being mindful. i feel mindful as i walk to my car and mindful as i kneel to clean the house, i arch my sitting bones and push my ribs out and back and try to keep my body stabilized. now off to get my kids and go to a bbq at deb caperton's. she is the one who made our wedding rings. she is setting up a kiddie pool to fight the heat wave and john is marinating some type of meat. we will play pirates with ella rose.

deep down i know we are a lucky lucky family. i'm not sure about this entry but i will press the publish button anyway.