howdy people.

i am starting to see a pattern in this blog--the images are only loosely connected to the print. but juxtaposition is what makes things interesting, right? this was a song-writing staple for the bands i was in. cute sounding melody, deeply evil lyrics. and somewhat vice versa. i probably spelled that wrong. these photos are from a day about 2 weeks ago. the very posed one is miles by some garbage we passed. we even posed the garbage a little. and don't worry, it is a bag of cherries, not something more, um, brown. lovely, wonderful. and the adorable one is julia babiarz of delaware and her second boy calvin. more about those curtises and babiarzes later, if julia will allow.

we headed to sonoma this weekend because maya's babysitter was coming to paint our incredibly dirty punched up walls with his crew. i have been talking about doing this for about 6 years now and thought that when we returned to fresh smooth walls my life would be better. unfortunately i am having trouble accepting the new color of our hallway and walls and had the sudden realization upon seeing them that i picked a color i THOUGHT would be the right color versus a color i actually like (disregarding kim wiseman's advice, oops). i am trying not to obsess about this new color. i will give it a few weeks,then if i am still looking at it sadly as i pee (maya keeps the door open for me so i can see out) we are going a pale maybe semigloss violet or purple.

i really am an obsessive thinker. i have a DIAGNOSIS. and i know the futility of it, especially when the obsessive thoughts are about paint. more about truly obsessive thoughts later. it helps to talk about it.

sonoma is where my mom and david bought a condo. they may retire there someday but for now only stay a few months each year. the condo is sweet and small, with nice landscaping and right now surrounded by blooming bottlebrush and oleander. it is very quiet there. no sirens. barely a truck honking. no hissing airbrakes. no wierdos moaning about their 40 ouncers spilling on the ground. our friends little jonah, gradiva, lowell and zehara came up for the day. we swam a little in the too cold pool and then went to the square. the square is idlyllic, with 2 playgrounds, big old trees, fountains, grass, shade, sun, even a duck pond with 2 ducks. children are friendly and their parents usually say (and i ask most of them) that they think this is a good place to raise kids. we get a bottle of speedy creek red wine and drink it with some cheese while supervising children who are darting in front of moving swings, dipping pacifiers in the sand, looking for snacks on the ground near the garbage can, scuffling for toys, etc. the wine makes me feel a little expansive but unfortunately it is hard to chat with so much action. i eat a lot of cheese and salami, from the vella cheese factory, an old-fashioned cheesery (i know i made this one up) right next to my folks' place. it is hot hot hot. we get ice cream to keep one child from crying. very wealthy tan looking ladies are shopping at the boutiques around the square. there are restaurants all around and expensive home furnishings for sale. i think people are bad drivers up here from all the wine tasting. the man at the sonoma wine shop is funny and friendly and gives us free tastes. our friends need to head back to the city and as we head home on the bike path we meet rich and miles who is bounding around post-nap. we play a little more, the kids finally running together and having fun, it cools a little, there are a few people of color at this park by the train museum. the ice cream truck goes by. a real one, playing ceecee my playmate. time for me to take maya home for bed. rich stays out on the town with miles (out until 9!) and says there were gangs of happy teens and preteens milling about, climbing big trees, hitting balls, drinking bottles of something.

so sonoma is the perfect place to have grandparents. why aren't i interested in living here? why am i so hooked on all this noise and diversity and congestion? i like the people i meet at the park but somehow don't click with them like i do in the city. we can see a beautiful moon at night and maya smiles at it so happily, mommy muh, moo. when we come the kids are pretty happy. the teens seem happy too. maybe later we will head to a place like this? where we know what will happen. the baseball game in the park in front of the mountain/hills. the ice cream at the chocolate cow. looking for bugs and ducks by the pond. climbing the little tree to be an eagle or a pirate. trying to be quiet in the early morning knowing the sleeping neighbors don't want to hear our sweet boy pretending to shoot bees at 6:45 am.


the day after sonoma we take our visiting cousins to chrissy field and the kids run wet and wild by and in the bay, maya gets in another child's hole and won't get out. it is a blue sky day, so warm, and my cousin wanted to see the golden gate bridge from below. he explains to miles that the secret cave i have told him about is actually a bunker for when airplanes drop bombs. i see a familiar woman and it is a mom of an old student, a little girl with a great laugh and golden long curly hair and rett's syndrome. she says sarah is doing great and will be going to kindergarten in the fall. she says (and yes i ask) that she thinks the city is a great place to raise her 3 girls, though they did think about moving as their girls approached school age. i know they have $ and don't ask if they went private. she looks like the daughter i worked with and is a smiling optimistic person. sarah can't walk or talk but she is doing great. the mom has a white hat and a white dress blowing in the wind. maya likes her. time to go again.