there they are, our naked tykes in kim and kimm's hot tub at the end of the welcome soofis bbq. mist is rising in the past bedtime night. kids are tired but still silly, giggling, bouncing and swimming. and then a clear little voice rings out "nina, you know, someday after a while we're all going to die."
this is just breaking my heart. that was my 4 and a third year old, after watching charlotte's web for the past week. when he asked me to explain what happened to charlotte i did not answer well. no religion to fall back on. no well thought out explanation (as in chicken's ferry ride to the island of dogs). no reassuring lies (people don't die). no, i told him that when charlotte died she just went to sleep and didn't wake up. and when he asked if people died i said yes.
of course not for a long long long long time. and you don't have to worry about it, mommy and daddy will always take care of you. but the questions keep coming, about who is going to die first, and will this healthy corn make me not die, and the very hardest statement of all, which comes unexpectedly day after day, during a car ride, after a quiet bath, eating macaroni, "i don't want to die."
i am trying to backpedal and when miles said this tonight to his dad i ran in and hugged him with a big smile and said don't worry, no one around here is going to die, your family will always be here and mommy and daddy will take care of you forever, and this at least brought a smile, but readers (if you are there) i feel dark and awful. i will try to erase it but i have planted this terrifying seed in my little guy's head, and i should have known better because that terrifying death plant has haunted me as long as i can remember and i KNOW parents are supposed to screen movies for their kids. not to mention the talk about eating animals has increased too.
so watch out for those innocent looking g rated movies, with their themes of death coated with a sugary little song about the miracle of life, and this little gem: "we are all born and we all die, that's the nature of life" served up to babies whose parents are busy doing dishes and laundry through the mouth of a puppet spider. i'm so sorry my son, i should have kept you longer in the world of thomas the train and friends.
1 comment:
Hi jamie,
i had a similar experience when Jonah busted me by asking: what happens after you turn 100? after 101? after 102? and finally at about 115 I said: "then you die." And then Jonah said with a smile: "and then you're zero again!"
Now our deal is that most people get old and die, but you don't have to get old if you don't want to. Also you start getting old when you're 12 - until then you're not even a teeny beeny bit old.
Also if you don't want to get old, you can drink lots of water and eat lots of vegetables.
These all seem pretty much true anyway.
love,
G
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