well, these are from, umm, what day? i'm not sure. isn't that sad?? not much sleep lately. we spent 5 hours sometime this week at the san francisco zoo. the big excitement was that we did not ride the little puffer train (i ran out of cash) and miles did not freak out about it. we actually spent some time looking at animals and not just steam coming out of various holes in a tiny old steam train. we did not ride the carousel or eat cotton candy either! maya decided every animal was a tee tat or a deebuh.

the big news for today is that i took a one-hour nap. also our house was appraised and has more than doubled in value since we bought it seven years ago. this puts us in a wierd position--though i am not complaining. there is really nowhere in the city we could rent a place this size for an amount similar to or less than our mortgage, and there is nowhere in the bay area we could buy and not pay a much bigger mortgage. so, should we stay here for that reason? or should we sell this place and go rent in idaho somewhere and invest our cash in something for the kids, like survivalist school or a house with well and place to raise food?

the preschool my son attends has raised rates so that in the fall it will be $1100 dollars for four days a week with early drop off. is he eating lobster for lunch? taking field trips in limousines to resorts in big sur? are they beading necklaces with gold and seed pearls? no, he is mostly running around yelling and laughing and roughousing with his friends, doing some cool little projects with nice teachers and learning to get along with a fairly big group of kids in a fairly small space. we had decided to bite the bullet and keep him there when the rates changed because it took him a while to make friends, but now almost all the kids he has befriended are leaving. many to kindergarten, but many to less expensive. darby to the east bay. lee and liam to a parochial pre-k bc it is so cheap. eitan to a montessori that is cheaper. opal jane to a co-op, cheap. nate moving to sacramento, cheap. audrey to southern california for her dad's new job, more $. you get the idea. and then last week a letter came that the lead teacher is quitting. so now we are once again preparing for the nerve-wracking experience of finding a new school for miles. poor guy, 3 preschools. but it is all part of the big picture here. we are here but we don't have much cash. and ELEVEN HUNDRED DOLLARS A MONTH for preschool is just insane, especially when they don't even have a teacher as of july. but what if we pick a new school and it doesn't work out? at least right now he is pretty eager to go in the morning.

i have noticed that usually change is good. it is very difficult for me to anticipate, though. we have met so many cool people through miles' school and now all these children are being blown out through the city like little leaves (it is windy as i type if you wonder where this lame simile comes from). i will miss them and their parents. if we can't find another school we will just have to suck it up. if we do find a new place i hope we will adapt as quickly as our son. he met a friend recently at a bbq and they played for maybe 30 minutes. this new friend accidentally smashed him in the face with a wooden paddle, and as i put miles to bed that night i looked at his boo boo covered face and asked him if he had liked meeting enzo at the party. "enzo" he told me very seriously, "is my best friend in the world." it is so hard for me to meet and lose so many people (and the meerkats aren't the only ones who miss nina and cassie) but there are probably some enzos out there for me too. (and don't worry rich, i just mean new friends)