little ramble

today at the swim class, between wiping boogers from miles' nose and protecting myself as he jumped on me i greeted a good friend's friend who recognized me from years ago, the teacher whose school we checked out a few weeks ago, and miles' schoolmate with her mom. this is just enough for me. enough to feel a little connected and friended. yet not overwhelmed by all the people in the pool knowing me and the details of my past. in delaware before i moved i was at the point where i would hide or cross the street when i saw people from high school. i'm trying to remember that feeling and how bad it was. i hated myself in high school, and for most of college. this is part of why i moved here. i think it is harder now because i liked the me i was for the past 15 years quite a bit, and want people to know her. the present me is very chunky, and tired all the time, and talks constantly about her kids. she does not play drums in a band at cool dives and go on big camping party trips and drive cross country and paint bad pictures and not care and write bad short stories and not care and have a cool dog and get wild and loud and become funnier and funnier as she drinks. when all the people who know this me have moved to the suburbs will she still exist? i do have some photos, i guess.

i met another mom at our park who is moving to san anselmo just in time for her second baby. for the schools, she said, though she teaches in sfusd and thinks it is pretty good. for a slower pace, though we both walk to this park daily and hang out for hours. as we spoke miles and a new little redheaded buddy named diego ran and laughed and shrieked (later i found out they were playing the hilarious game of throwing dirt at wasps). when it was time to go diego's mom asked if we would be here next monday since the boys played so well. yes i said, and then impulsively asked, "you aren't moving soon are you?" not for at least 2 years she answered. just in time for diego to go to kindergarten.

we will take what we get for now.
we are starting to consider spanish immersion for kindergarten. anyone out there know much about it?
is anyone out there?
xo,jamie