ready for bed post

i hitched a ride with a friend of a friend to go to a theater at the university of san francisco and watch speaking in tongues, the documentary about immersion programs in san francisco. you should check it out. definitely a biased perspective, but a very positive and loving one. there was an 8th grade boy who gave me hope about my children still being wonderful in middle school. there was a dad who made me cry--see the film and you will know who i mean. some excellent chinese middle school hip hop dancers and a lot of shots of kids at miles' school, much smaller and i hate to say it cuter.

then my two teacher buddies and i went back to the mission for indian beer and pizza at zante's and traded parent and teaching stories.

at the afterschool program miles opted today to play on the baseball team with the little little kids. i'm talking preschoolers. i am not sure if he is an assistant coach or a ringer. part of me wondered why the heck he was not down the hill with his peers and classmates playing whiffle ball and spy games and who knows what else--doing what everyone else was doing. part of me loved it watching him play ball with a 4-5 ish year old boy, being just gentle enough, and i wish i had a video of maya swinging at the ball on the tee with a metal bat, a big black helmet rattling around on her head. no bb guns in sight today, though miles found some little plastic pellets on the ground. sun shining, kids hitting balls, kids flying kites, how can i be so scared of something bad happening here? our pizza and beer talk brought up some anxiety--my friend works at a school that just had a big shooting nearby, but what i say when we talk about safety is that no, i will not sacrifice my kid's safety as a trade for learning to be around people from different cultures, but what i can do, and am trying to do, is trust people who deserve trust. if the director of the afterschool program with bb guns tells me he knows the kids, and the families, and that it is safe, i can take a leap of faith and believe him. what else can we do and not go crazy?